photo friday: ''self-portrait 2010"

photo friday

thursday 13: week 5

13 things i love about my kids

1) they behave themselves in public - despite the whining i endure on the home front, the kids are SO flipping well behaved (most of the time) when we're out. i never worry about taking them to nice restaurants or grownup stores. this makes life so much less complicated.

2) they both love school - yes, parker has a hard time waking up in the morning, but once she's up she's ready to be there already. two days in to her 'ski break' she was asking if it was time to go back to school. likewise, 'renzo complains until the moment we get to school. at which point he enjoys himself immensely and is sad to leave.

3) they love each other - from the moment he was born parker has adored her brother and he has looked up to her. they play together endlessly. one of my greatest joys in parenting is watching them together.

4) their dimples

5) they're individuals - there is no way describe parker without using the word 'parker.' and lorenzo is so flipping 'renzo. both have their own ideas of fashion and cool and make believe and they're still so unaffected by their peers (whew).

6) they still like to snuggle

7) they love the water and are competent swimmers - we spend four days a week in the hot tub in the winter and almost every day in the pool in the summer. by five years old parker could swim the length of the pool, the long way, without help. lorenzo can hold his breath for so long under water that i jumped in to 'save' him the other day, thinking he was in trouble. he looked at me like i was crazy when i pulled him out.

8) they're adventurous eaters - parker's favorite food when she was two was escargot. lorenzo passes up french fries in favor of a green salad. need i say more?

9) they each have a wonky and fantastic sense of humor.

10) they're adaptable - my kids have endured a lot of changes in their lives and though they've had setbacks, they're strong willing to accept change. a bajillion times more than i would have been at their ages.

11) they're goofy as all hell.

12) they love to read - reading was one of my favorite things to do as a child (and still is now) and i'm so thrilled that they love to be read to and that parker is loving learning to read.

13) they inspire me to be a better mom.

mr. big head

did i say everyday? i meant ALMOST everyday.

we've come a long way babies - photo circa 2/2007

it's raining cats and dogs. or men. whichever you prefer. and while it's making a lovely sound right now at 8.17pm, i'm sort of over dragging complainy children out on soggy errands.

tomorrow i'm heading up to sf with my grandpa who is dealing with his second bout of prostate cancer in six years. he's still in the very early stages of diagnosis and is having a bone scan done tomorrow. this entails an injection of radioactive dye and three hours of waiting before the actual scan. anyway, think good thoughts or pray or manifest or do whatever it is you do when something is not right. because this isn't!

s&b sunday

this should be an incredible event this year (as always). it's our first year participating and we're hoping to bring home some awards for the chocolates we entered (the 68% single origin madagascar bar, the thai truffles and caramel figs). our summer is already filling up with weddings and tastings and shows and festivals! w00p!

photo friday: ''nature"

photofriday

thursday 13: week 4

13 books i love (in no particular order)

1) welcome to the monkey house by kurt vonnegut

2) love in the time of cholera by gabriel garcia marquez

3) ocean sea by allesandro barrico

4) a soldier of the great war by mark helprin

5) she's come undone by wally lamb

6) the plague and the fire by james leasor

7) delta of venus by anais nin

8) helter skelter by vincent bugliosi

9) the handmaid's tale by margaret atwood

10) the martian chronicles by ray bradbury

11) perfume by patrick suskind

12) jane eyre by charlotte bronte

13) the amityville horror by jay anson

and what about you m'dears?

of very great substance

the kids have this week off for 'ski break' (they're currently outside playing in the water with their barbies on this sunny 70 degree day) so we went down to the monterey bay aquarium, thinking it wouldn't be too crowded on a tuesday. i made a conscious decision to just relax and enjoy my time with them at one of our favorite places in california. my mellow mood must have rubbed off on them because they were on their best behavior and we spent a fun four hours wandering around, trudging back up the hill to feed more quarters into our meter and leaving exhausted, lorenzo in tears (pleeeease mama can't we stay a little longer?) the exhibits have changed since we were there last and there was an incredible section on sea horses (mama, they're so tiny you can't even see their EYEBALLS yet!). we saw a 75+ year old lobster (caught for dinner down in santa barbara and rescued and given to the aquarium because of its enormous size (apparently they can live over a hundred years)), baby skates gestating in their mermaid's purse, and the lone otter that's not fostering cubs. it's days like these that make me wish that i had all the time and money and patience in the world because it was so joyful to just watch them explore together.

on the way home parker and i chose six perfect (and gigantic) artichokes from a roadside farm stand (with lorenzo fast asleep in the car). we cooked them and gobbled that up for our dinner. it was a good day. :)

this whack a mole month

so, after worrying a bit about the tax issue i did a bit of research and learned that because i am the custodial parent, the irs gives me the right to claim dependents and child tax credits. if i want to allow another person (non-custodial parent, grandparent, neighbor, blog reader chosen at random) to claim my children i must sign a form saying that i release my rights to that person. and that person still has to meet certain requirements that bk does not. so, i informed bk and told him again that when the time split is closer to 50/50 we can divide up the tax benefits. in other words, that'll never happen. (sunday was his last weekend with the kids until who knows when; his choice, not mine).

which leads me to this morning when i was checking my online credit report. perfect, EXCEPT apparently there are delinquencies with the credit union that bk's car is financed through. i called the c.u. and discovered that payments were three months behind (now sort of ish caught up, but late again), hence the blip on my credit. the divorce clearly states that i am indemnified of any responsibility where the car is concerned but this'll take a while to clear up. *LE SIGH*

have i mentioned how thankful i am to be partnered with someone who is totally responsible with his money? mentioned.

s&b sunday

i am spectacularly tired from this long valentines' weekend. two wine tastings last night at j. lohr and a very busy market today.


here's what i woke up to this morning. :) at each place setting was a stuffed animal and a present on new heart placemats for me and the three kiddos.

photo friday: ''lightness''

this feels like summer to me, the lightness of summer... yeah, bring it on spring. i'm ready to be back there.

photofriday

thursday 13: week 3

13 things i'll never get tired of eating

1) phở (vietnamese beef noodle soup) - this is the closest thing to comfort food for me. i crave it when i'm sick, well, sad or happy. it's all about the broth. typically, if i take the kids with me, i'll order one large soup and give them all the noodles, keeping the broth, thinly sliced beef, and all the garnishes for myself.

2) my grandma's gnocchis (little pillows of heaven) - my grandma

is 92 years old and has been making these forever; she's pretty much perfected them. i like them in red sauce or really plain with just butter, parm cheese and salt & pepper.

3) blt(a) - bacon from the meat guy at the market, romaine lettuce, heirloom tomatoes, and avocado

4) sushi - i started on sushi young (yes, i live in california) and there are very few types of sushi that i don't like.

5) omelets - this is another comfort food for me. i like omelets for breakfast. i only ever eat half because i love to reheat it and eat it for lunch. i also love omelets for dinner. sausage, mushrooms, spinach, and cheddar please.

6) pork - yum. pork is my favorite meat (har har). chops, bacon, ribs, pork belly, tenderloin. yum. the other white meat.

7) my dad's meatballs - this is what i asked dad to make for my birthday.

8) chocolate cake with penuche frosting - brown sugar, butter, milk and vanilla. need i say more?

9) artichokes - lucky me, i live driving distance from castroville, the artichoke capital of the world. :) i like mine with butter and lemon to dip in. my favorite way to have them is on a rooftop in sicily, tiny artichokes, panfried with olive oil and garlic.

10) crab - like artichokes, i prefer it with butter and lemon. there is something so satisfying about cracking the exoskeleton of a crustacean and eating the innards. *sluuuurp*

11) avocados - again, i'm lucky i live in california. no salad or sandwich is complete without avocado. and i don't care what time of year it is.

12) a nice chewy, salty/sweet chocolate chip cookie with whole milk - i can't think of an occasion when i'd turn this down.

13) sweet potato fries - these i don't have often but the few times i've been to the counter i regret getting a burger and not just drowning myself in yams...

i'm lazy, here's a meme

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:16, that's two snoozes before waking parker up

2. How do you like your steak? medium rare, organic, free range

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? avatar, i think. it's funny, i enjoyed it that night but after hearing about it so much i'm sick of it.

4. What are your favorite TV shows? of the current season: parks and rec, no reservations, house, nip/tuck

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? paris

6. What did you have for breakfast? two day old coffee. blech!

7. What is your favorite cuisine? that's impossible. i love thai, japanese, indian. my dad's cooking always rocks. modern california fusion

8. What foods do you dislike? eggplant, cauliflower

9. Favorite Place to Eat? krung thai, dia de pesca, left bank, little sushi joints

10. Favorite dressing? oil & vinegar with soy sauce, lemon pepper, & parm

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? 2000 jeep wrangler

12. What are your favorite clothes? jeans!

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? thailand, japan, all over europe, all of the cacao growing countries

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? usually half full

15. Where would you want to retire? right here in n. cal!

16. Favorite time of day? after dark!

17. Where were you born? port townsend, wa

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? baseball

19. Who do you think will not tag you back? n/a

20. Person you expect to tag you back first? n/a

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? n/a

22. Bird watcher? not particularly

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? night

24. Do you have any pets? one cat, ophelia

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? the second j. lohr seating sold out!

26. What did you want to be when you were little? a pediatrician

27. What is your best childhood memory? going to australia

28. Are you a cat or dog person? i feel overwhelmed by pets. ask me when the kids are bigger.

29. Are you married? nope!

30. Always wear your seat belt? YES!

31. Been in a car accident? yes

32. Any pet peeves? poor listeners

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? sausage, pesto, fresh tomato

34. Favorite Flower? whatever is in season at the farmers' markets

35. Favorite ice cream? coffee with chocolate chips

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? subway

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? 0

38. From whom did you get your last email? j. lohr winery

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? nortstroms

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? hmm, not particularly

41. Like your job? yes!

42. Broccoli? yes!

43. What was your favorite vacation? sicily

44. Last person you went out to dinner with? d!

45. What are you listening to right now? antiques roadshow, kid chatter

46. What is your favorite color? neutrals, turquoise

47. How many tattoos do you have? 3

48. What time did you finish this quiz? 4:33 pm

'Like warmed-up cabbage served at each repast, The repetition kills the wretch at last'

i should have anticipated that this would roll around again. bk brought up taxes. which is odd because what he does on his taxes has absolutely nothing to do with me, or the kids. he's feeling short-sticked on the divorce (fine timing, over a year later when he had a knowledgeable lawyer advising him) and wanting me to let him claim the kids even though he has the kids about 1% of the year. um? i told him if we're ever close to a 50/50 time split i'll consider giving him one of the write offs. but as it stands, no way jose. i stood my ground, calmly and logically. i didn't give him the satisfaction of my emotion and suggested some ways we might work on this for next year. in the meantime, i'm sick of hearing about fair.

what happens in san francisco...is broadcast all over the interwebs?

mj ftw!!!!

thursday 13: week 2, a day late

thirteen things i want in my 28th year

1) a wonderful evening with my friends in san francisco tomorrow. this should be doable as we're heading up there in the afternoon and spending the night in my favorite city.

2) financial stability.

3) prosperity for snake & butterfly. sometimes i look at ben and say 'can you believe this is the same thing we set out to do almost three years ago?' it's unfathomable to me how far we've come. there are few other things in my life that i'm so proud of.

4) to start surfing, scuba diving and wakeboarding again. i love water sports. i'm very comfortable in the water but i've put off these hobbies (some of my only) since the kids were born. no more!

5) to go back to sicily.

6) to be a better mom. which isn't to say that i think i'm not a good mom. i am and i'm getting better. i want to keep getting better, be more patient, enjoy myself more.

7) new clothes. after purging so much out of this house in the past year i'm in need of a little replenishing. since money is tight i'm shopping in little bits and only buying things that i really like and that will last.

8) to stand up for myself to bk when it's appropriate. i roll over way too often in hopes of avoiding a conflict

9) to buy 75% of our groceries at the farmers' market.

10) to read more. the kindle is helping but i'd like to read every single day.

11) to see my faraway-ish friends and family more often. virtually everyone i know lives on the west coast. this shouldn't be hard; i just need to make the effort.

12) a bike!

13) good health.

an explanation of why i'm stupid

namely, because despite evidence to the contrary, i believe things with bk will change eventually. things have gone to shit again. or maybe have stayed shit? he's continued to work the bar scene along with his day job and it's continued to wreak havoc on visitation. originally, way back when, we talked about having a somewhat traditional schedule (he takes them every other weekend) but his job has made that impossible (we've done three one-night overnights in three years). for the past several months he's been taking them on wednesday nights (at our house) from 5:30 pm until d and i get home from our date night (the kids go to bed at 7 pm) and sunday mornings when i'm working the market (from 9 until around 2) but i've been informed that sundays won't work anymore because he'll be tired from working late the night before (i can fucking tell you ALL about tired). which leaves one night of visitation wherein the kids are awake for an hour and a half. what the what? this coupled with the fact that child support has been consistently late and/or 'light' is starting to grate on my last nerves. i've come to the very close to insanely screaming at him that he's an asshole and a loser and a burden, rather than a help but i don't want to believe that he is. and that's stupid.

i feel stuck because i'd like to be working more than i am; the business is so goddamn busy right now. but in order to do that i either need some help watching the kids (preferably during relatively normal working hours) or some money to put 'renzo in more preschool or pay a sitter. neither seems like a real possibility.

plum pump

not bad for $19, marked down from $99 eh?

steve madden women's trinitie platform pump in plum!

yes, this counts as work

i must be stupid