that group psychosis thingie. pissing off strangers on the internet since 2005. divorce. drama. navel-gazing. motherhood. chocolate. sex. mastectomy. "i'm not going to marry you. i'm going to EAT you."
so yeah, things are going well. is it the new anti-depressant (after 10 years on celexa, i'm on prozac)? is it the new exercise routine (3.5 miles around the track three times a week plus hip thrusts)? is it the fact that the kids are in school from 8 until 2 every day (omg, omg, omg, they're BOTH there!)? is it that i have no extraneous obligations for the foreseeable future? is it that i am regularly hanging out with friends and family? and tomorrow, when i am not BEAT tired, i will answer all these questions and more. and post some cute first day of school photos.
mom and i found my wedding dress today. no, i'm not engaged (yet). yes, i bought it. yes, it cost $35. yes, it requires pie. and eclectic chairs. and canning jars with mismatched silverware. and a FASCINATOR. and vintage stockings with vintage garters. and my trademark red lipstick. and a live band with a fiddle.
so someone tell danny to shit or get off the pot and that my favorite romantic song is stevie wonder's i believe. and it's in one of my favorite movies too.
because my 93.5 year old grandmother asks me if i plan to marry danny and an answer in the affirmative welcomes a promise of the wedding band and engagement ring she's worn for over 70 years. *le sigh* but in a good way.
i grow up with a sister not my own. amanda is the unsubtractable piece of myself that has always been there, an appendage, relevant. easy. necessary. emily becomes my sister in circumstance; unpoken common experience transferable only through osmosis. maybe they make me lazy in girlfriendship - certainly it's easier to wield power with a boy or maybe there's no reason to struggle with a girl, or amazing girls like these in any case.
in any case, it takes me almost 25 more years to meet girlfriends and i must let my guard down because before -what changed?- i would have judged them both. too loose. too religious. too comfortable in her own skin. too uncomfortable in her own skin. threatening. we've apparently walked miles and miles and miles around this track because i wake up in the middle of my family reunion less abrasive (still navel-gazing).
the conversation begins with circumcision and inevitably strays to abortion. we're polite, tearful. i give credit to colleen for teaching me two things i might never have learned without her: how to reach into a womb not my own and how to stretch-fight fair. because its less about the fight and more about the common ground we can find here. let her walk forward as the shining banner of Catholicism (and all Christianity for that manner, morality, intelligence and compartmentalized-beautiful womanhood). let me be be a rusty signpost for atheism.
i'm sorry you had to make that decision. i'm sorry you regret it. i love you. i respect you. i'm illogical. i'm crazy. i'm prone to drawing fuzzy-ambiguous lines. i've changed. don't pigeonhole me. i love you. i'm sorry.
blogging at you from the great pacific north west.... Specifically the fold out sofa belonging to my 94 year old grandmother, via iPad, via unsecured network in this retirement community. This is how dedicated I am to you.
I always have great feelings of competency and belongingness when we land in Seattle - specifically when it's just me and the kids and a backpacking backpack using public transit to get to donuts at pike... Heading into port townsend leaves me both sunny-nostalgic and heavy with the cloak of that girl I am with this part of my family: more abrasive (I know!) than California me. Taking lots of moody pictures but not sure how to get them here to there.
Escaped with my cousin Bo to safe way this evening. Mini toiletries, threats of cigarettes, and the world's slowest "express" lane. Washington drivers!
Should you expect to see something that you hadn't seen In somebody you'd known since you were sixteen; if love is a bolt from the blue, then what is that bolt but a glorified screw? and that doesn't hold nothing together Far from these nonsense bars and their nowhere music it's making me sick And I know it's making you sick There's nothing there, it's like eating air It's like drinking gin with nothing else in That doesn't hold me together.
But for one crowded hour, you were the only one in the room And I sailed around all those bumps in the night to your beacon in the gloom I thought I had found my golden September in the middle of that purple June But one crowded hour would lead to my wreck and ruin
Now I know you like your boys to take their medicine From the bowl with a silver spoon Run away with the dish and scare the fish by the silvery light of the moon Who were taught from the womb to believe to the tune In as far as their bleeding eyes see Is a pleasure pen, meant for them, built for and rent for them Not for the likes of me Not for the like of you and me
And for one crowded hour, you were the only one in the room And I sailed around all those bumps in the night to your beacon in the gloom I thought I had found my golden September in the middle of that purple June But one crowded hour would lead to my wreck and ruin
Oh but the green-eyed harpy of the songland She takes into hers my hand She says, "Boy I know you're lying Oh but then, so am I," And to this I said "Oh well."
They put me in a cage full of lions, I learned to speak lion In fact I know the language well I picked it up while I was versing myself in the languages they speak in hell That night, the silence gave birth to a baby They took it away to her silent dismay And they raised it to be lady Now she can't keep her mouth shut
1) How did you get the idea to start making artisan products? Celeste and Ben are the two original creators of Snake & Butterfly. When they met 4+ years ago, Ben was researching raw chocolate with all of it healthy loveliness. The timing was perfect for a chocolate company to be born, frankly if they had met a month or so earlier, we would be a sprouted nut and seed company!! One of the things that makes this business special to us and to our customers is that none of us have worked with chocolate before this. We have an unbiased outlook on chocolate and we move forward without any preconceived notions about how things are “supposed” to be done.
2) How did you get started with your business? Ben and Celeste started things slowly, researching other chocolate makers, tasting lots of different types and flavors comparing with different wines. Then they began crafting in different methods until the taste, texture and process was right. When they had something tasty, they sent samples to friends and family to get feedback and suggestions. They had late night talks about packaging and the future of the company. Celeste started handling the business side while Ben was working in product development. When Vince came on board, he kicked their butts into high gear! He helped get the business plan finished and started working out the kinks in making delicious caramels and truffles. He also started expanding the customer base and adding wholesale accounts. Jim and Mara started out as regulars at the Campbell Farmers Market and were so impressed with the product and the passion everyone had that they practically begged to be a part of the company.
3) What’s your favorite way to use your product? Besides just eating it? The single origin bars are great chopped up and mixed into baked goods, like gluten-free chocolate zucchini muffins. The jarred caramels are good with fresh fruit, over ice cream, on carrots (as our kids can attest to) or just on a spoon! We love doing wine, coffee and cigar pairings too!
4) Which product is your best seller? Our peanut butter cups are by far the most popular item we make. They are the right combination of simple organic ingredients: chocolate, peanut butter, agave and salt. That’s it!
5) What’s your friends’ and family’s favorite product you sell? The kids seem to be enjoying the peanut butter cups and the caramels, the Bacon Caramels specifically. With the adults, we find that the flavored bars like the Sea Salt & Smoked Almond and the jarred caramels, like Salted Bourbon, are increasingly favored.
6) What is your favorite part about being an artisan producer? Getting to introduce new customers to our products and seeing the enjoyment on their faces is a big highlight of our jobs. Working with quality ingredients and having a place to be creative help smooth out any of the bumps we may have along the way. Plus having a team that works easily together and seems to mainly all be on the same page about where we’re going and how we’d like to get there, really makes going to work each day a joy instead of a chore.
7) How do you get ideas for innovating with products and creating new flavors or varieties? A lot of the time, one of us will latch on to an idea and try it. Then as a group we’ll taste,test and tweak the recipe until we have found something that is unique and delicious. Our Dulce de Leche Jalapenos started out as a whole roasted and candied jalapeno, filled with the spiced dulche de leche then dipped in chocolate. In that form, it was a little messy and hard to share, so Vince (the mastermind behind that product) decided that bite size would be better. He figured out how to make them smaller. They may be little but they pack a big flavor punch!
8) What inspires your art direction and packaging? How did you come up with your style? We are all really proud of our new packaging but the credit has to go to Celeste for spearheading it’s creation and working hand in hand with the photographer - her mother, Debra - and the printer to get it just right. We wanted packaging that invoked a feeling when you looked at it, not just to tell you what you were eating but to tell you how we feel about it. For example, the peanut butter cups have bicycle tires on the package; it’s feels fun, whimsical and hearkens back to a simpler time, while the Ginger & Nib bar has a macro picture of a dahlia that feels exotic and mysterious like the taste of ginger can be at times. We went for the direction of natural and handmade with our design just like our chocolate.
9) Who inspires you in the kitchen? Who taught you to cook/produce? The raw ingredients are inspiring to work with. It’s kind of like a treasure hunt to find the best, most sustainable products we can. Then to work with them, coaxing out their richness, their subtle flavors often leaves us in awe. Some of us have traditional training in the kitchen, while the rest of us are self-taught, there’s not one chocolate “expert” in the group. We continue to learn through research, trial and error and remembering to have fun playing with our food. We inspire each other!
thirteen awesome things about having two kids in grade school edition
