rah rah switzerland

this is a fantastic, sad, and moving episode of frontline on pbs entitled the suicide tourist. the entire show is available online.

an update of karmic nature

so i heard through the grapevine (from her own brother) that the former miss bk (i know, i barely remember her either) is marrying the man she cheated on bk with. this involves a move to spain. phew! in the almost four years that we've lived under one mile from each other i have never (to my knowledge) crossed paths with her. i've seen her from across the way at her place of employment but never had a run in with her. in fact, up until a few weeks ago i never dreamed of her even. (in this dream she came up to me and scratched me across the face, pulled my hair and called me a whore. tragically, even given the relative safety of rem sleep, i took the high road and turned on my heel, saying nothing. i guess that ship has sailed, or will be soon in any case.) so miss bk: happy trails to you! may our lives never intertwine again. and if they do, may i be very very inebriated and forget my manners!

bk tells me with a snort (and a straight face) that while miss bk cheated on him with her now fiance, she later cheated on her now fiance with bk. oh what a tangled web we weave! (and here i am living in domestic bliss. i know, boring right?) meanwhile bk is currently seeing a 24 year old with a four year old daughter of her own. he tells me that she's a 'good girl. a really good girl.' and maybe she is. she lives a few hours away and of course this spells more cancelled visits for MY kids as lately he's trying to coordinate the long distance thing with a 'single mom' (poor thing...i can't even begin to imagine what that's like!). it also explains the new tattoo and the belaboring about the trials and joys of single fatherhood at children's birthday parties (*waves to colleen*).

so um, yeah, on this eve of fathers' day bk i present you with this. and to the man who is actually helping me raise our lovely children: gratitude. mountains and mountains of gratitude. *muah*

werkin

open letter

neener

first watch this (in shock and horror, i hope...)



then, read this and be completely amused.

operation stick insect

i volunteered to take home parker's kindergarden pets for the summer (and beyond). we are now the proud owners of six indian stick insects (phasmatodeas). these critters are so cool and after only 24 hours we're able to observe differences in personality. some are very bold while others seem more shy. they're happily munching away on the rose leaves we've provided and we're expecting babies at some point.

snake & butterfly takes gold

Snake & Butterfly took home a GOLD (best organic or fair trade chocolate) and three BRONZE (best dark chocolate, best dark chocolate bar, and most delicious ingredient combination) at the Napa Luxury Chocolate Salon! Holler!

this is our first big win and seems to be an omen of good things to come! we've also been accepted by a gourmet grocery store chain in new york city. :)

wherein i confess that i'm mostly happy aside from the normal douche-baggery

i know, i'm a terrible blogger lately. i've been busy, and worse, good busy and therefore not in the mood to write a whole hell of a lot. i've been more in the mood to read and lay by the pool and take the windows off the wrangler and participate in these last days of school with the kiddos.

s&b is keeping the four of us very busy and we're launching our new packaging next week. i'll be redoing all the photos on the website since we've gotten new molds since i posted pictures last (erm, two or three times over!). we're doing four markets and in about a dozen retail outlets (with two grocery chains on the horizon). we've also been offered an incredible chance to open our own store. it would be a tremendous leap for us and i'll talk about it more as things move along. needless to say it feels like we're moving into a time of tremendous growth and change and fabulousness. i still can't believe this is the same company ben and i started three year ago... i guess in many many ways, it isn't (thank god!)

lorenzo just had his last day of tiny tots today and though he's still the 'baby' in this household he's undeniably growing up. four (!) is just around the corner. miss p has six more days of kindergarden and then is starting summer school. she's suddenly a reader and i can't tell you how exciting this is for me. have i mentioned that i love having school age children? have i mentioned how over the baby phase i am? things are getting so easy. not everything takes 10 bajillion years to do. we can go places and they get in their boosters and stay nearby in stores but are big enough to go ask the bakery department at safeway for their own goddamn complimentary cookies. and they even remember to say please and thank you! our summer is fairly packed with camp and swim lessons and (very) mini vacations and weddings but i'm looking forward to a more relaxed schedule with them. that and getting to sleep past 7:15. ;)

things with d are for the most part domestic bliss. which is to say that after almost three years i still laugh every single time he farts (which is fairly frequently). i have to say that it's taken me almost this long to settle in, to relax and realize, hey, he likes us...he isn't bailing. i'm able to ask for what i need without a tiny frantic voice whispering but what if this pushes him away? we spent a very nice weekend down in carmel with my family and the kids and enjoyed each others' company immensely. seeing him with my family makes me tremendously happy. truthfully, watching lorenzo walk off hand in hand for ice cream with his biological father touches me far less that watching him and d trudge down ocean avenue on the same mission. (oh wait, no that never happens with bk. n/m.)

aaaaaaand, all bloggy roads lead back to bk don't they? moreofthesame moreofthesame moreofthesame. yeah, drinks too much. spends far too little time with the kids. cancels frequently. does meaningless things that look like big gestures to people on the outside (see: tattoo). lies. in other words: moreofthesame. the difference is, they don't care. the kids don't give a damn. a stranger could come and take them swimming once a week and would probably bond with them in a more significant way. parker asks in a blasé way: 'why does he cancel so much? why does he spend the whole time texting when he's with us?' and i answer as honestly as i can: 'i don't know. there's other things he'd rather be doing. this might be how it is always. but you're lucky because you have d and uncle ben and uncle forrest and papa vince and grammy and gigi and popo and jen and SO many other strong amazing men and women who love you 'til the end of the earth and back and will ALWAYS be there for you.' and generally, that's enough to satisfy her until her dad, or some other stranger or familiar comes to take her swimming.